.: Time Zoomed :.

time no longer flies....

to me...time jus zoomed...and it's gone...way faster than the wind....

images of the day i landed in KLIA..waiting for daddy n mummy to come pick me up in the airport...and head home for the longly waited mom's homecook steamboat n food....all these seemed like it was yesterday..but in fact it was already one and a half month back...and now....6 weeks later....i have to go back to London and to complete my dissertation...before i can officially complete my masters here....

everything that happened in these 6 weeks back home seems like jus nothing....though many things had happened....i had even travel to Phuket n Pangkor with my family...met my fren in Pangkor...met Top & Sally in Phuket...met my dears and close frens....i'd even visited medical institution and clinics...check my body....dear even took me to foot massage...*it was really painful!!*....i even met an eyedologist from aussie....and the list goes on and on and on...but all these seemed to ha jus Zoomed....and it's all the past now....

and after tonight...my summer vacation back home in Malaysia will end....and i will have to go back to London tomolo nite to complete my dissertation....i really miss home a lot....much much more this time...cos during this trip back to malaysia...mummy n daddy and sunnie had got closer...lot more closer...not only that....shan had also became closer with all other family members too...like fei..yee...granny n granpa...uncles n aunties...cousins....soonling!!..leebebe...hui!!..moreover..everytime when go to London...Chia will be home...with me...for sure....not right on the same day...but definitely she will be back..latest...1-2 weeks later...but this time...i shall be alone...for 3 months..till Chia is back again...

just hope that tonight...time will jus stop at tonight...so that i could stay home a little more longer...

i miss home soooo much...am going to miss everyone back here soo soo soo much....................

.: i hate Sunnie :.

have you ever tried looking at yourself in the mirror and ask "who is this ugly person"...and the more u look at the image reflected on the mirror...the more you hate it....well...I DO...and it is everytime i look in the mirror...since when??....i can't seem to recall the date....all i know...is...it had been way long ago...a few months back...and a few months had past....still....I DO hate the image i saw in the mirror....and hate more and more each time....

in London...i told myself..."Sunnie is ruined"...the Malaysian-Sunnie is gone since she is in London...and who did this to her??...ME!!....i ruined Sunnie...the one with the charms and everything i love about her....is now all gone...and me....me...me...i am the cause of it.....

now back in Malaysia...with all high hope that the Malaysian Sunnie will be back....but...in fact....NOPE...not at all...she seemed to had gone forever....her looks....her charms...her eyes...everything of her seemed to be had gone...except for her smile n laughter...which is somehow different from the past....whereby most of her family says...she seemed to be much more happier than the past...and seems to smile n laugh more at home....well...putting up smiles and laughters at home are the only way she can do to hide the depressed side of her....and these smiles and laughters...is the only thing that she can do to make her family being less worried bout her....

besides...since returning to Malaysia...her lifestyle had changed too....Sunnie whom once enjoy tasting different delicacies and cuisines and dishes is no longer here...she'd now turned into a semi-vegetarian..only eating vegetables..fruits..and fish or prawns...and the rest like chicken, pork, beef etc etc....is no longer in her menu...Sunnie whom used to enjoy sleeping for long hours...and can jus stay in bed the whole day....is gone too...in fact....herfamily who used to complained that she sleeps a lot now forced her to go to bed and sleep....Sunnie who is not so much of a morning person...now had changed too....waking up at 7.30am daily...7 times a week...to do jogging....which she could not do in the past due to her leg injuries...or to go swimming...which she could do too in the past due to her ear injuries...and these had been going on for the full 2 weeks since she is home....BUT...how long more can she put all these up??...how long more can she be committed and determined in doing all these??...how much more commitment and determination does she still have??

with all these changes in her lifestyle...nothing in her body had changed at all...no results seemed to show up too...and i really hate this...hate it so much....there are times...i really wanna to just give up...but....but....i can't...all that i could think of now is..to continue with this...and hate myself more each time... in the past...no matter how much i hated myself....there is still a little part of me that i would still love...but now....NONE...there's nothing left in me..nothing left in Sunnie which i could love anymore....and it's all not with HATRED...why??...i dunno....how it turned out this way??...i dunno....wat can i do ??...i dunno....when will this end??...i dunno.......i dunno i dunno i dunno ...........................................................

.:Relieved....only for 1 sec...NoNo...3sec:.

Phew~~~

am relieved....at least for like awhile....not 1 not 2...but only for 3 seconds...

1st second is for...scoring the highest in class for my Direct Marketing group coursework report...Part 1...and the topic is about Johnson's Baby Lotion....though the mark is not that high..high merit (near distinction)....but still compared to the whole class...we were the highest in class....phew~~...relieved for 1 second.......and now have to start cracking our head for the coursework report Part 2...and the pitching presentation...OMG !!!..can't breathe already.........

the 2nd second or relieve is for our Analysis and Strategy group presentation..and our topic is HMV....cos...we finally done with the presentation on Monday...and we had some good feedback from our lecturer...good !!!...yay!!!....but.......we still got to go the report....3000 words...due on thursday...oh my !!!

.:HMV group presentation....some of the slides:.

and lastly the 3rd second of phew~ is...for the finished HMV 3000 group report...yay !!...after staying in uni for the past few days....from say till night....especially from Monday - Wednesday....in the uni till 10pm...we managed to finish it on time...and FINALLY hand it in on Thursday afternoon.....well done...kekee...

.:the cover page of our HMV group report:

.:the group members before submitting the report...Sunnie, Song, Paras & Vicha-missing:.

oh....i can add another second for my IMC part 1....so means 4 seconds....cos the lecturer "buy" my idea for the IMC project...hehehe...good good....and tat is only the part 1...i still have a 3500 words Part 2 - situation analysis...and 15,000 words Part 3 - the whole project to do...oh my god !!!...no time to relieve and phew~ anymore...

and....definitely no more time anymore....to be relieved....cos...i still have to many reports and presentation to do...and dateline is end of this month...+ begining of april...havent mention...i still have a PR report to do...oh my oh my... ! ! !

so now...u know why i can only be relieved for "seconds" and neither minutes, hours nor days....

wish me luck !!

hope i still can hold on and stand when all these end....

i really need strength to complete all these.....

help me .............................................

.:Cherish Life & Love:.

life is fragile....
life is to be appreciated and cherished...
not to be made fun and played with...
and definitely not to be wasted..........

love is a feeling...
love can be blind...
love can be triggered at the first sight...
love is complex.....

however.......

before starting to love somebody.....
the first thing to do ..is to love yourself...
if you dunno how to love yourself
u can never love others...
and don't have the rights to love others...
cos you dunno how to love...

.:Today is the Day?!:.

What is a good choice??....and what is a bad choice???
What is a good decision??...and what is a bad decision???
i dun think i still know about it....and i really never know....

but it doesn't really matter i know or not...it doesn't really matter anymore....
cos today is the day...the day that i have to make a choice...the day i have to make a decision...
a choice..which i hope...would make my life better...a decision...which i hope will reduce my burden....

though many people will say that i'd made a selfish decision...made a bad choice...
but...who'd stand on my side and to think for me....how important this choice...this decision is for me...who know how much had i went through...that i have to come up with this decision???

well....i guess...now...it doesn't matter how good or bad is the choice...and is the decision that i had made....cos...i'd already chosen to make that decision...
and all that i can do now...is to live with the decision that i'd chosen...the choice i had made...
and hopefully to be back into my Sunnie-mode again soon....
though i dunno when will it be...but i hope i won't have to wait long for this.....