.: Letting Go :.

All this while you think that you can let it go....

you think you can be kind enough...."shut an eye" ....and let it go...so that this particular incident will stop bugging you...or perhaps burdening or hurting you....

but in fact...when you thought you really don't mind at all and had finally let it go....you actually had never...and you can't seem to let it go....

and when you found out that you had never let it go...."it" just keep bugging you....and had planted itself deep inside your heart....

Many times...our mind knows it...our mind clearly knows that it is the past....knows that it's all over already...and there's nothing to be worried about....cos you'd already got what you needed and wanted the most....

But....our Heart....sometimes does not tell us the same thing as our Mind does...cos deep down inside our heart.... in one hidden corner in our heart....we still can't let it go...and "it" still affect us...unconsciously....it still does...and when this hidden corner of our heart is being dug out....it hurts....a lot....really....it is really painful....and if there's second chance...i would rather it to be kept hidden forever.....

When will i really ever be able to let it go totally??....when only will i be truthful enough and say..."Yes...i really don't mind...anymore..it's the past already"....when can i really accept it that it's all the past??

I dunno....perhaps it take days...months...years....or even decades.....just hope that this day come soon.....so that the pain will subside soon.....

Quote: Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present....

Had this past spoil my present ???....or it had just only injured me??..........

.: Destiny :.

Humans....no maybe i should say "living things".. go through many different stages of life....

The path one person been through may not be what the others go through....

People always say....the end of this journey is the beginning of the other journey....

As for me...

Coming back from London...for good now...i'd taken a brand new path...started a new journey...not of my own...but with the one i love...and hopefully...both of us will walk along this journey together hand-in-hand...overcome everything together heart-with-heart...with joy, happiness, tears, love..............

We first met 2 years ago in London...we attended the same Masters Degree course at University of Westminster...the first time i noticed him was during the induction week...and we officially met each other during the course's introductory dinner on the River Thames Cruise....

.: P'Top & Sunnie...this is when we first met...officially :.

{actually had posted this pic before...in one of the earlier posts}

Both of us looked so different then....compared to now....in just 2 years...everything had changed...we started out to be just course-mates then...moved on to be 2 good friends...ended to be a pair of couple...and now....soul-mates....perhaps...this is wat we call "fate & destiny"....

i could still remember...when we first met...all that we know is..we are course-mates...my new friend from Bangkok...and later this new friend of mine had become my close friend...the person whom i go to whenever i need someone to talk to...from there...he had also become my companion in London especially when Chia is not free...he is the one who always accompany walking, eating and shopping around London...haha...we'd even become our course's topic of gossip....rumours went around our course as in whether are we couple??...hahha...of cos...not..we were just good frens...who enjoy the companionship of each other....hahaha....and finally....we graduated together....and with the rumours still going on....hahahaha.....

.: our graduation :.

perhaps it is true like wat people always say....the more the two-person stay together...the more the bonding will grow...and perhaps this is how our feelings for each other grow stronger by each day...however....neither of us take actions for the feelings we had inside....or maybe i should say...i din take any actions for the feelings i had for him....cos...inside me i know...one day...we will have to part....he will have to return to Bangkok one day...and i'll have to go back to KL too....i could still remember the day when Chia was with me at Heathrow airport sending him off...for his flight back to Bangkok...at that moment...all that was in my mind was..."when will i ever see him again??"..."will i be able to see him again??"...and i remember tears rolling down my cheeks like it will never end...that was one of the most heart-breaking moment for me in London....i remember...i told him before...knowing him is one of the best thing which had happened to me in London....and that separation was one of the worst....he was one of the best....and he was also one of the worst moments i had in London...perhaps this is called "destiny".......

after he went back to Bangkok....while i was still in London...i really thought that we will never meet again...though we still keep in touch via online...but we are thousands of miles apart....and we don't know when will we meet again...until...when i went back to KL....my parents allowed me to fly to Bangkok to visit him...this was really surprising...as my parents never allow me to travel alone...and this is the first time...i travel alone..and they allowed...perhaps it's like Chia said...dad n mom likes him a lot too...so tat's why they let me go...

from boarding into the plane...to the plane departed till the plane landed in Bangkok...all that was in my mind was...what should i say to him when i see him at the airport??...i was nervous....so when i first arrived at the airport in Bangkok...all i did was hurried to the immigration counters...collect my baggage and go meet him at the arrival hall....haha...i still remember he dressed up funnily standing there waiting for me at the arrival hall...without a word...all i did was walked straight to him...and hugged him....hahahaha....

.:at Amphawa Floating Market, Thailand:.

after a week in Bangkok...he went back to KL with me...to send me back home safely...and also to meet my parents again...he met my parents before when they came for my graduation...and surprisingly...both my parents...and my family like him a lot..i still remember before dad n mom fly off from London...mom told dad...if dad is lucky enough...he will be his son-in-law....and now...hehehe....yes..he is......

HE is a very loving hubby...who cares and concerns about me more than anyone in this world...besides my parents and family....he is also my big kid whom i need to take good care of...he is always so gentle towards me...he is always there to cheer me up to make me laugh when i was down...though sometimes he loves to bully me....he is the one i love dearly and deeply...

Love you Hubby....Muacks !!!!!